Tapeworms and Twinkies

A fellow walked into his doctor's office, complaining that he thinks he might have a tapeworm. The doctor examined the patient and listened to the symptoms. He concurred with the self-diagnosis.

"I want you to come back tomorrow, to start treatment. And bring a banana and a Twinkie with you," said the doctor.

Despite the seemingly odd request, our hero complied, and returned the next day with a banana and a Twinkie. The doctor said, "Okay, now drop your pants and bend over. This is going to hurt a bit." Although leery about the turn of events, the patient dropped his pants and bent over. The doctor peeled the banana and with one deft motion rammed it up the guy's rear.

The doctor consulted his watch as our hero danced around the room shouting at the physician.

"Okay, one minute is up, and we have to complete the second part of the treatment if your truly want to get rid of this tapeworm," advised doctor. Despite the pain, the patient does want to be cured, so complied with the order to bend over again. The doctor took the Twinkie and rammed IT up the patient's rear.

"Okay, tomorrow I want to see you here at the same time, and bring another banana and a Twinkie," ordered the doctor. The now humbled patient, with tears of pain in his eyes, nodded his head.

The following day, the same routine ensued. First the doctor rammed up a banana, waited exactly one minute, then rammed up a Twinkie.

And the next day, and the next day and the next!! Every day UP went a banana, wait one minute, then UP went a Twinkie.

After one full week of treatments, the doctor finally said, "Well, tomorrow is the LAST day of treatments. I want you to bring in a banana and a hammer."

"Not a Twinkie?" asked the very frightened patient, trying to imagine what a hammer was going to feel like. "Nope, a hammer," confirmed the doctor.

The last day the doctor said, "Okay, you know the routine." So the man drops his pants and bends over. UP goes the banana. The doctor looked at his watch and picked up the hammer.

One minute passed. Then two minutes. Three. Four minutes pass.

Suddenly a little head poked out of the patient's rear, "WHERE'S MY TWINKIE?!"


Contributed by: Sheila and Bob Dennison
Date Added: September 3, 1997

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